My feeble attempt at writing comedy

Get it or you don't. Most likely the latter...

The HelpDesk - Brainstorming



So Far:



Clous, Adam says:

ok

Clous, Adam says:

look

Clous, Adam says:

one thing in our sitcom

Clous, Adam says:

that must be constant

Clous, Adam says:

is everyone at the HD must have some sort of nerdism about them

Duren, Dwight says:

in what ways?

Clous, Adam says:

just some sort of idea that is nerdy

Duren, Dwight says:

like being addicted to fig newtons

Clous, Adam says:

or

Duren, Dwight says:

and WOW

Clous, Adam says:

star wars

Clous, Adam says:

and a mmorpg

Clous, Adam says:

correct

Duren, Dwight says:

that works

Duren, Dwight says:

we need to make the people who call all dumb as well

Clous, Adam says:

lol

Clous, Adam says:

yeah like *** reps

Duren, Dwight says:

and the HD must ridicule and belittle them with their superior useless intelligence

Clous, Adam says:

yeah

Duren, Dwight says:

I'd like to also make fun of walmart

Clous, Adam says:

ok

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Joke/Gag:

Maybe you should take a break. Go to lunch or something. Sometimes when I don't want to be at work, I go poop.

It gets me off the phone.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Everyone likes sex, it's like ice cream!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Dialogue:



1: What's the sexiest thing a girl has ever done for you?

2: I don't know, walk around in nothing but shoes...

1: What kind of shoes did she have on?

2: Some watershoes

1: I hate to break it to you my friend, but there's nothing sexy about water shoes.



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Cafeteria needs to be Roasted as well:



Non-Sequitor->



1: Excuse me, ma'am, do you have any sweet tea?

2: No, we have unsweetened tea. But, we do have strawberry milk

*Pause*

1: What?

2: We have unsweetened tea. But, we do have strawberry milk

1: I'm sorry, but that doesn't follow

2: I'mma need you to watch yo tone!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Nerdy Game: City of Heroes or like League of Sidekicks...



talking stuff on the game



1: I'm going to pwn you.

2: Fuck you! Oh yea you're gonna pwn me...not

1: Well played, a "not" joke...what are you 11?

2: yea

1: Oh.

Soul on Wax...or guitar...

I'm a new man
I wear a new cologne and
You wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed







I know what you'll say
'This won't last longer than the rest of the day'
But you're wrong this time
You're wrong

Ok, so i'll start with some of my own stuff once I get past all of these finals... But sound is my chosen media of expression, my sanity, and my therapy... All I need really. So I hope you at least listen, but if not...it's cool, i don't know either way (or really put too much weight in for that matter), because this is therapy too...

Try!

Yea...

I been lonely but I know I'll be ok
Good love is on the way

3 years broken hearted
But now her ghost is finally gone
I'm done with broken people
This is me
I'm workin on

Interesting...Very

River's Cuomo (Weezer) is writing a song with fan input... Gotta check it out when I have the time:

http://www.youtube.com/user/RiversCuomoAlone

More Samples

Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band - Cherchez La Femme



Ghostface - Cherchez La Ghost



Another Gem from H.W.:

Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band - Sunshower

New Weezer

http://www.weezer.com/

The more I/you try to erase you/me, The more, the more, The more that you/I appear

Thom Yorke (from Radiohead) - The Eraser



US Placers - CRS (Kanye, Lupe, Pharrell)



We are all Hokies, remember your loved ones and keep them dear to you.

Check my chapter out

They still holding it down out there for the Bloody O!

I remember my first show...

One of my favorites, an anthem as of late...

I'm getting there...

...

Feeling mad introspective

Doing some thinking and reflecting over the last, what six years of my life...Man I have changed. I'm way different than what I was when I was 17, and I'm just now taking the time to reflect. An old picture:

Or two, plus spending time with my best friends has really made me realize how blessed I am to have the people in my life. Everyone has regrets and skeletons, and I'm no different from them, but I can't really harp on them too much because they helped guide me to this place I am now. I haven't felt this content in a long while, and I am starting to feel like I'm making the right decisions again.

Maybe all of this will make it into verse, but I am still wrapping my brain around it all.

So here's to life, family, and friends (The 5ths - Nick/P/Shaud/Mike, Pseudos - Sahand, Helen, and crew, Vanessa, My Chapter Bruhs, and anyone else that I have genuinely interacted with and who has done the same for me). I appreciate ya'll, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

5.

Oh, enjoy the musical selection from Mr. Mayer:

Damn...ok the last thing I steal from Ye's blog...

But peep the mascot's reaction...

more old stuff...

Soothe me the worlds sorrows
And Americanly I'll neglect home,
Allow my own to run limp and rampant
As I become lost in apricot skies,
Like I, reduced to less than a memory
A hue after a great star laid to rest
In holes of utter mystery and darkness
Like stories abused through the news:
Confused -- like starving hearts salivating at taunting love
With its scent, tempting all of the above
As it flaunts with its classic impeccable timing...

I grow to feel completely ridiculous
Because my tides abide a waning moon who wishes to forget me
And because I try to guide myself using a new one,
Which I refuse to let go of, for she's the brightest orb in my recent universe.
Along with the wetness upon my soul,
Weeping since you were shielded from me,
With your name still dew upon my lips,
And bombs still burning in my mind
And your scent still strong incense in my heart
I stare into missing green eyes
Cocoa butter/Mocha Cream
-- and apricot skies

----------------------------------

With jaded eyes in mind I fade back
to a time where bliss reigned
from the skies wet tears from the sun
and when evening skies kissed by the moon
then dreary gray left me weary
not because they strangled the sun...
But because of dancing uncertainty
Washing up to sting us like boxed-jellies.
Thus, I jam-on to the pitter patter of weeping
And smile upon welps held upon the wind
Cutting sturdy trees and their leaves
and our souls and their homes with each glancing blow...

I reach back into memory
When blue skies weren't always so blue,
Now confused drifting in auburn-creamy hues
That seem to be siphoned straight from you...

I accept so called wealth, not empty but feeling so
I look back at that cunning oracle
Called twilight and dream with a burning desire
Lit by fireflies; set in lonely Bermuda nights:
Blue-black, clear waters in a tropical asylum
Set up for we, you, and me...

As I'd sow your fields,
And wander in your emerald greens...

Karma

Wrote this back when I was 17...ironically poignant

Sit,
And I sit.
I sit here looking where my heart is
And where my head will lead, Carthage:
Romanced her, loved in carnage
Depending on indefinite words too much...
To have one's heart in one's clutch
Then juggle, befuddle it in my own filth.
Lower its purity, grow it to insanity, and filth.
Made it open up just so I could steal its fruits
Just to be where I wanna and refute
Just what you thought my heart alludes
Magnified it through spite and think that it might
Last as we had framed it to despite:

Impatience on my part, and negligence on my other half.
Sometimes too close is too close to wrath...
I like to believe if it was meant to be then truly,
Time apart isn't disparate to departing to leave life unruly...
They Say, keep friends closer and enemies even closer:

So to love one is to bring one into your coveted corner
Set up for your own villains, designated demons
That seem and are using reverse psychology: we won...

We won one way and stun some on some other days
As I mesmerize myself more than most through many displays:
Wove you into my moon then contemplated removing
It from my loom with looming happiness proposed to conclude our story...
And instead ended with a wound upon our womb:

And thus this novel I so easily bring to flame
With confused psyches saying it can be the same
When we all know it will never welcome that past
Which has passed at supersonic speeds, as I steadfastly
Wish it hadn't changed, as I saw it coming:

Signs and prophecies from an earthly origin unwinds
To show you and me that me and you have naive tendencies...

But it's my fault for making you believe...


Strangely enough, I originally titled this "Donnell "...as in Donnell Jones...as in "Where I wanna be"

Sum Sh!t I wrote

Dated: 2-6-07

It doesn’t feel right

Walking between rain drops

Cutting a biting wind

I feel like I’m not from here.

I wade through a moat of lies.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I want to

I need to walk with you

Fill our shoes with sand

Feel your love between my toes

The simple joys, a disdain for others

You can’t rain on our parade

As I walk through the shame

Of rumors held against the wind

Our best still to come.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I miss those days

As a homeless soul

Controlled by mellow melodies

Soft highs and deep lows

Sweet sighs and tender kisses

Mixed with my rhythmic existence

For instance, when with the flow I would breathe

And soon would see

How long we could go

Oh the seeds that were sown

Only to be left buried in the gravity of reality

I walk between the rain

Wet clouds of melancholy

I turn back the page to

A time where love was new

Sorrows few

And I would walk through shaded night with you

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little things seem dismissible

Like dreams, we cling to what

We feel but rarely follow our hearts

Or our feel of the world

Fleeting like imagination

The pressure of a dying star

Dimly devours what keeps us bright

Fleeing words right my ship as

I circumvent things both large and small

I possess the where with all to fight

But not the might to do what I feel

-- What’s not in sight

And follow those dreams

That seem to amount to nothing

But combine to complete

The beach of me.

Now, who can tell me what the title is an allusion to?

And everyone loves penis jokes...

Sutff I happened across...

Check out this dude who did Lupe's first LP's cover, his art is kind of sick...I am tempted to buy some to decorate my spot with it...

http://www.npandco.com/

Kanye's new video is on his blog...


HOMECOMING from kwest on Vimeo.

Blog Link: http://www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog/

Dru Hill Reunion -- and Break up:



In other news, I hate my job...

The other day a lady referred to her Internet service provider as an LSD company...

Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, and Judd Apatow are at it again

Yo-Yos

I'm not sure if everyone has happened across this commercial, but it was originally a super bowl spot. It's hilarious and one of my favorites...So without further adieu:



I'll start posting some things with more weight one of these days...lol